How to listen actively

In an earlier blog titled "What is your listening to telling ratio", I wrote about the importance of active listening to be effective leaders, managers, coaches, and facilitators. Here, I would like to share some of the specific active listening skills that we can use to strengthen our listening ability. Implementing the following tips will ensure the speaker feels heard by you:

1. Ask open and probing questions: Open questions (unlike closed questions) are those that allow a variety of possible responses. Probing questions encourage diving deeper into the issue. Such questions provide opportunities for people to speak at length. That, in turn, provides us the opportunity to listen.
2. Make eye contact: Sigmund Freud apparently said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Making eye contact gives a clear message to the speaker that we are being attentive and open to receiving.
3. Keep open body posture: Face the speaker squarely and avoid crossing hands and legs. This communicates to the speaker that we are open to what s/he has to say.
4. Use verbal and non-verbal signs: Use verbal sounds like "hmm" and non-verbal signals like nodding and leaning slightly towards the speaker. This will exhibit interest in what the speaker has to say.
5. Seek clarifications: If you are not clear what the speaker is saying, seek clarifications. This will demonstrate to the speaker that you truly wish to engage and understand what he has to offer.
6. Avoid interrupting: Except for seeking clarifications, allow the speaker to maintain the flow of her speech. Do not come in with your stories, ideas, and experiences.
7. Paraphrase: From time to time, repeat in your own words what the speaker has just said. In addition to displaying attention toward the speaker, it will provide a chance to the him to correct any misunderstanding on our part.
8. Summarise: At the end, summarise the key issues communicated by the speaker. This will not only convince her that you did listen carefully, but also allow her to clarify a particular point or miscommunication.

The best way to sharpen a skill is to practise it. So, try out the above tips the next time you meet someone and experience for yourself how they work. Do share your experiences here, so that we may learn together.